Self-care stacking

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

Moms are burned out. That was true before the pandemic. It’s even more true now. Sure, there are some families who are benefitting from less running around but for the most part women are talking about being maxed out or at their breaking points. It makes sense. Most of us are running in a deficit of self-care in normal times. Now it’s even worse.

So what’s a mom to do? Self-care, rest, and prioritizing health is the solution to burnout. So how do you do this when the gyms, salons, and spas are closed and you have to mask up to go to the happiest place on earth (Target obviously!)? Of course we willingly cut back on possible exposures and deny ourselves further. So how do we not only survive but maybe even thrive.

With a little trick I like to call self-care stacking. Let’s say you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and are ready to fight the world from the first moment. This is where the stacking comes in. If you are having a rough day, time is probably already in short supply. Try to think Of three things that can be done at once. Can you use essential oils and Epsom salts in a shower/bath while you listen to spa music and do a quick meditation as you let the water flow over you? It might take an extra 2-5 minutes but the benefits will out last those few moments.

Some self-care stacks I recommend include making your favorite beverage to take on a 5-10 minute walk in the middle of the day. Either listen to a couple favorite songs, chat with a friend, or listen to podcast or book you love. Another form of self-care stacking can be prioritizing your needs if you usually don’t. “A day of yes” in the spirit of the book The Year of Yes.

Give yourself a midweek staycation day. Or if you are the primary caregiver of the kids and need a break, negotiate extra alone time, go for a drive, get your favorite to go food, and sit by yourself listening to your favorite sounds, book, music, or podcast.

Another combo is herbal tea, a face mask, thick lotion on hands and feet with socks and gloves, and your favorite childhood/teen movie or a talk with a friend (depending on social needs). You can throw in a favorite snack if you dare. Either way you’ll either have a really fun time or a good story to share of how you accidentally stuck popcorn to your face mask or waxed you chin with a peanut butter cup wrapper.

Whatever you do, don’t wait until you have enough time, enough support, enough money, enough energy. Do something nice for yourself right now and put a reminder in your calendar to do another thing for yourself later. We all need to calm our nervous systems. You can do it. You will be glad you did.

Head over to the MamaThriveVillage parent group to tell us how it went.