The Goldfish Problem

by Danielle Jenkins, PsyD

I’m constantly talking to my clients about the idea that kids and their needs are like goldfish. Goldfish grow to whatever size container you give them. They can get huge. Same with children and their needy, snack-begging ways. These little people you lovingly made a five-course rainbow colored meal for will drop food in the randomest of places only to beg and borrow snacks of all kinds less than 30 minutes later in convincing narration of starvation.
 
These little ones we give our all to will ask what are we are doing next after you’ve gone ice skating, baked cookies, make holiday cards, decorated eggs, painted ornaments, and watched 7 movies. Don’t even get me started on the snacks. Have I mentioned the snacks? 
 
Kids will take and take and take and keep taking until we tell them no. It's what they are supposed to do. They will have one existential crisis after another until we and they are used up....
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Self-care stacking

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

Moms are burned out. That was true before the pandemic. It’s even more true now. Sure, there are some families who are benefitting from less running around but for the most part women are talking about being maxed out or at their breaking points. It makes sense. Most of us are running in a deficit of self-care in normal times. Now it’s even worse.

So what’s a mom to do? Self-care, rest, and prioritizing health is the solution to burnout. So how do you do this when the gyms, salons, and spas are closed and you have to mask up to go to the happiest place on earth (Target obviously!)? Of course we willingly cut back on possible exposures and deny ourselves further. So how do we not only survive but maybe even thrive.

With a little trick I like to call self-care stacking. Let’s say you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and are ready to fight the world from the first moment. This is where the stacking comes in. If you are having a...

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