by Danielle D. Jenkins, PsyD

School is....starting?

So many parents have been struggling with what to do about schooling within the framework of a global pandemic. Many families have to have the only parent or both parents working to make it financially. Even in families where there is a parent staying home, what to do about school has not been an easy decision. As with many parenting decisions, there are some people out there who seem so confident that their decision is the best one (for them and everyone else). And it can feel like there’s someone who is going to judge you for whichever decision you make. The reality is that very few people have a choice that feels good right now.

This means many of us are in a situation of making lemonade, which can be hard work. Doing things you don’t want to do is not fun. It takes creativity, which for many parents is in short supply since March. We have already used it up with the solutions we’ve come up with for...

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

Moms are burned out. That was true before the pandemic. It’s even more true now. Sure, there are some families who are benefitting from less running around but for the most part women are talking about being maxed out or at their breaking points. It makes sense. Most of us are running in a deficit of self-care in normal times. Now it’s even worse.

So what’s a mom to do? Self-care, rest, and prioritizing health is the solution to burnout. So how do you do this when the gyms, salons, and spas are closed and you have to mask up to go to the happiest place on earth (Target obviously!)? Of course we willingly cut back on possible exposures and deny ourselves further. So how do we not only survive but maybe even thrive.

With a little trick I like to call self-care stacking. Let’s say you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and are ready to fight the world from the first moment. This is where the stacking comes in. If you are having a...

By Danielle D. Jenkins, PsyD

It’s Father’s Day in America. I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating the dad’s and adoptive fathers in your life. I am highlighting another important day for fathers to celebrate Father’s Day.

Tomorrow, June 22, is International Fathers Mental Health Day. Depending who you ask, between 10 and 25 percent of men experience postpartum depression. Fathers can also experience anxiety and other exacerbation of mental health concerns with the birth of a child. Dads are often overlooked when we discuss perinatal mental health and this is a problem. There is already strong stigma around men experiencing and seeking treatment for mental health concerns. Yet, men’s postpartum depression is often completely overlooked.

Signs a dad may be experiencing paternal postpartum depression (PPPD) include:

• Anger and irritability.
• Feeling helplessness or hopelessness. 
• Loss of interest in daily activities, especially ones you usually...

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

Infertility can be a huge burden. I’ve had friends, family, and clients share how isolating, scary, and overwhelming infertility can be. Some people choose to keep their experience and process to themselves while others are very open about it. Either way, it can be hard to know which path is best for you. MamaThriveVillage  has some tips.

Keep the circle small. Choose wisely. If you know someone is very opinionated about assisted reproduction or know you will have to do a lot of explaining, it may not be best to include them in your process, especially at the beginning or right before or during an important time (picking a donor, embryo transfer, or other procedure). Have a few people who will support you on bad days and respect your need to pull back if you need to. Choose people who will keep your story to themselves. 

You might be surprised by who these people turn out to be. That’s normal. You might find that one parent (or set...

By Danielle Jenkins, PsyD 

You are probably overwhelmed with the amount of info coming your way in these wild times. As schools are closing and we are practicing social distancing, here are some ways to stay healthy and mentally well while things are shifting around you.

Stay Active

Staying active is one of the most important ways we can support our bodies and minds in times of stress, illness, and isolation. As we practice social distancing, we need to remain as active as possible. Going for walks and playing outside are great for keeping us feeling our best mentally and physically. Do a jumping jack challenge with your kiddos or challenge everyone in the house to see how many sit ups or push-ups you can do. Set up the living room as a gymnastics zone for a day or so and have a talent show to show off everyone’s routines (you have to practice to be good). Great way to fill time off from school and stay active.

Boost Your Immune System

As the possibility of...

A guest blog by April Lovelace Simmons

In the first few weeks of motherhood, as a women recovers from growing a complete human and then forcefully expelling it from her body, there is a lot of uncertainty. The new mother is uncertain of her new life and role. The freshly minted father wonders how to care for his wife, precious new baby, and if he will ever have time to play video games again. Friends and caregivers anxiously attempt to anticipate needs and take bets on who will be the little newbie’s babysitter of choice. With her world so unsettled and resources so deprived, the new mother begins to wonder how she will fill obligations outside of healing her body and caring for a newborn. Thus, she turns to her phone and reads endless lists and blogs and posts and pins so she knows what to expect… and what others expect. To aid her in this crucial search, I have composed an exhaustive and definitive list of the seven things that every new mom should absolutely never...

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

Pause and Then Remind Yourself You are Safe

When you initially realize you are emotionally overwhelmed, the first thing to do is pause. Then look around and remind yourself you are safe. When you feel overwhelmed, your body can’t really distinguish between feeling overwhelm because you worked too much this week, said yes to too many extras, are going through a rough life patch, or are in the middle of a war or famine. Sometimes, especially when we have too much on our plates, our primal brain takes over and our body processes emotional, family, or work stress as an emergency when it is not. When this happens, pause and tell yourself you are safe. Even if it’s something silly you say to yourself like, “Body, I am safe, there are no monsters here, just a lot of overwhelm.” You can even follow this with simple reminder to yourself, “I got this!”

Once you’ve paused and given yourself a safety check, take a breath, do...

This is a blog post that I’ve been writing in my head for a long time, but recently I was reminded in a powerful way about one of my biggest concerns for mothers of our times. In September my sweet niece turned 3. My sister posted a series of super sweet pictures of her daughter with her birthday “coffee” (steamed coconut milk from a coffee shop). I remember having a fleeting thought that the headrest in the car seat looked weird from the angle of the picture, but knowing my sister’s nearly obsessive tendency to double check car safety, I didn’t think another thing about it. I made a comment about my niece’s new haircut (a birthday tradition from Aunt Kiki) and went on with my day. I noticed later that the post was comment free. Weird. Didn’t think much of it. 

Scroll to the end of the day, my sister shared what happened. A mom who my sister went to middle school with briefly and became Facebook friends with at some point made a really...