Release Postpartum Anxiety: “Doing” vs. “Being”
Guest Blogger, Rev. Liliana Barzola
Note from Danielle. Having Liliana write this blog post is a dream come true for me. I love this concept and yet have struggled to bring it to my new momma clients. She is so on point with “being vs. doing.” And I love that Liliana, who has been a source of strength, encouragement, and business mentoring for myself and others I know was my first guest blogger on MamaThriveVillage back in July. Read more about her at the end of the post.
Release Postpartum Anxiety: “Doing” vs. “Being”
Being a powerful, independent woman moving through the world involves a lot of “doing.” When you are growing a baby inside you, problem solving on the phone, and cooking a meal all at the same time, this is the vibration of “doing.”
Once you give birth and enter into the postpartum zone all of that “doing” becomes “being.” Yes you “do” change diapers and feed. But, you have to harness the “being” energy to tackle it all AND enjoy yourself. By being present and slow you will not fall into frustration around loosing aspects of your freedom (which is such a common feeling of new motherhood).
You were going a mile a minute, you birthed to the point of breathlessness by “doing” and now you’ve crash landed and all that heightened, quick-paced adrenaline slows and releases. Your mind screams at you to “do,” your body nourishes your child and that “let down” says “be.” Newborns are all just “being.” They are present. All they have to do is be. This means your pace as a mother of a newborn must slow to the “being” vibration.
“Doing” vs “Being” Visualization
Imagine a scale of 1-10, ten is high and one is low. Ask yourself, “What is your level of “doing” right now? Are you watching TV, reading this blog post, and making dinner? That would be a ten. Or are you at a 1 just feeling calm and present and slowly taking in my words? So let’s say you are at a 10 and that anxiety is high. Sit with that for a second, then imagine the number 9 in your mind’s eye and invite your body to match that vibration. Then imagine an 8 and feel your body at a 8. Then do 7 and so on.
The best way to manage your energy for postpartum time is to use this visualization. Especially when you feel anxious. If you are staring at your sleeping beauty and feeling a surge of survival anxiety and fear, beginning to think, ‘please goddess, don’t let my baby die,’ try this tool. Any panic or fear you are feeling can be managed with this simple tool. The purpose is not to see how low you can go but to retrain your body to “be.” It’s not about getting to a one. It is about the retraining. It is about calming your fight or flight response. This is what your baby needs from you. And if the dishes are piling up and you are hungry, reach out to someone else to be the “do”er during this postpartum time.
You can also play the game in the opposite direction and try to bring your level of “being” up, instead of your “doing” down.
Some moms worry that if they stop the “doing” and lose the go-go-go mindset, they will never get anything done, their houses will become so dirty they are condemned or will never be clean again. This just isn’t true. It doesn’t bear out in reality. Babies grow up and they become doers too. It’s biological. Toddlers are primarily “Doers” and when you hit that developmental stage you will be ask to “do” a lot! So enjoy this time right now. And having practiced “being,” you will be able to teach your little toddler “doer” how to just “be” when needed also.
Recap
Doing: This is all the action in your life, cooking, cleaning, playing, taking a shower, hanging out with friends, and basically working your ass off.
Being: This is when you are laying on the grass and looking at the sky. This is when you are breathing deeply and staring into your newborn baby’s eyes. This is when you are laying in your lover’s arms after making love and just taking it all in. This is when you’ve just had an awesome meal and you are just enjoying the fullness and nourishment before you jump to the next thing.
Guest Writer: Rev. Liliana Barzola, Spiritual Guidance
Rev. Liliana Barzola has conducted over 20,000 in-person and phone counseling sessions, and taught over 600 students, since 2002. Her practice, Lotus Lantern Healing Arts, has an international clientele including individuals in Australia, Italy, Germany, Japan, Canada, Venezuela, Africa, the UK, and nearly every US state. An intuitive since childhood, Liliana possesses the ability to see a client’s aura and chakra systems. Using this gift, she enables individuals, couples, and organizations to find clarity and direction.