My Father’s Day Wish

By Danielle D. Jenkins, PsyD

It’s Father’s Day in America. I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating the dad’s and adoptive fathers in your life. I am highlighting another important day for fathers to celebrate Father’s Day.

Tomorrow, June 22, is International Fathers Mental Health Day. Depending who you ask, between 10 and 25 percent of men experience postpartum depression. Fathers can also experience anxiety and other exacerbation of mental health concerns with the birth of a child. Dads are often overlooked when we discuss perinatal mental health and this is a problem. There is already strong stigma around men experiencing and seeking treatment for mental health concerns. Yet, men’s postpartum depression is often completely overlooked.

Signs a dad may be experiencing paternal postpartum depression (PPPD) include:

• Anger and irritability.
• Feeling helplessness or hopelessness. 
• Loss of interest in daily activities, especially ones you usually enjoy
• Feeling you are a bad father or your family would be better off without you.
• Appetite or weight changes. 
• Trouble sleeping or oversleeping.
• Sadness or low mood.
• Loss of energy or fatigue.
• Reckless behavior. 
• Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
• Aches and pains.

To meet criteria for depression, one needs five of the above symptoms. A common misconception about depression is that one must feel sad, low, or have a blue mood. This is not always the case. It could be depression if you feel irritable, helpless because of the overwhelming nature of early parenthood, anhedonia (loss of interest), low energy, and trouble focusing. Men especially often experience anger as part of depression.

Risk factors include:

• Not getting enough sleep
• Changes in hormones
• Personal history of depression
• Relationship stress – with a partner or with in-laws
• Excessive stress about becoming a parent or father
• Nonstandard family (such as being unmarried or a stepfather)
• Poor social skills
• Childhood trauma
• A lack of support from others
• Financial stress
• A perception of being excluded from the connection between the mother and baby

If you are experiencing any of the symptoms of paternal postpartum depression, please get support. Depression can impact the way we bond with our children and the sooner you receive treatment the better for you and your family. If you suspect your partner may have depression, talk to them and express your concerns. Sometimes asking a question is a great way to get the conversation started. Something like, “Hey Hun, how have you felt since the baby was born?” Sometimes having these conversations shoulder to shoulder is easier than eye to eye. Places like on a walk, on a drive, or while you are both cleaning the kitchen or sitting on the couch are ideal.

My wish this father’s day is for fathers to be mentally well and able to receive help when they need it. Please talk to your partner, a friend, your doctor, or a mental health professional.

Happy Father’s Day!

For more info and resources: https://www.ppdil.org/resources-for-dads/