Finding the Magical Moments

Guest Blog by April Lovelace Simmons 

So, y’all, being a parent is hard. Being a mom is a tough job. There are so many days that the forest crowds out the trees and the overwhelm sets in and I forget. I forget the sweetness and the privilege. I forget the honor and the trust. While struggling through sleep deprivation, piles of laundry, and endless to-do lists, it’s so easy to lose sight of why it’s all worth it. Then, in the middle of the night, a sweet little warm body, smelling of soap and sleepiness comes to my bed with trusting, outstretched arms. A little voice murmurs, “Mommy, I LIKE you.” And I remember.

I am a working mom. After spending two years at home with my sweet girl, I re-entered the work force “part-time” when my husband and I opened a business. The quotation marks are very deliberate; as anyone with a brand new business knows, there is really no such thing as part time. I missed my little one every moment that she was not with me. I feared that I would be absent for important moments or that she would have trouble adjusting to going to her little classes. I didn’t have time to comb through the grocery store for sales and whip up hand-made healthy recipes every day. The house was a little less clean and several times she nearly ran out of clean undies before I realized the laundry was terribly behind. But, my little girl flourished… and so did I.

Another thing also happened. I spent less time soaking her in, laughing with her, or breathing in the scent of her tousled head. I didn’t have the energy to read five books before bed or time to revel in the ecstasy of snuggly afternoon naps. Some of this was because she was growing up, needing me less, tolerating my doting only as it fit her agenda. Some of it was the busyness, fatigue, and overwhelm. Sometimes I wished things were different.

Sometimes, though, I found the wardrobe, said the magic incantation, or went through the looking glass and made it back to our special world. And when I was there, with her, everything was more special, every experience more poignant. The busyness made me more aware of the sweetness of stopping to BE with her. The overwhelm enhanced the moments of abandon when there was nothing in the world to do but love her. And I learned to be grateful for the sometimes hectic, rarely easy life that we live, the life that we have chosen.

I have learned that if this moment is bitter, it will make the sweet times all the more blissful. If this day is endless, sometime soon the days will slip by like sand running through my fingers. Isn’t that what this parenting thing is all about? Holding tight so that one day you can let go? Making sure they grow up strong and healthy and independent, all the while dreading the day that all your nurture and care comes to fruit? So, don’t forget mamas: most days will not be perfect, but they all will contain just a few magical moments. Hold out for those moments. Stay alert and don’t miss them…they are what keep us grateful and remind us of why we relish the most difficult job in the world.