A guest blog by April Lovelace Simmons

In the first few weeks of motherhood, as a women recovers from growing a complete human and then forcefully expelling it from her body, there is a lot of uncertainty. The new mother is uncertain of her new life and role. The freshly minted father wonders how to care for his wife, precious new baby, and if he will ever have time to play video games again. Friends and caregivers anxiously attempt to anticipate needs and take bets on who will be the little newbie’s babysitter of choice. With her world so unsettled and resources so deprived, the new mother begins to wonder how she will fill obligations outside of healing her body and caring for a newborn. Thus, she turns to her phone and reads endless lists and blogs and posts and pins so she knows what to expect… and what others expect. To aid her in this crucial search, I have composed an exhaustive and definitive list of the seven things that every new mom should absolutely never...