by Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

As we round the corner into the second Mother’s Day in the pandemic I find myself struggling with celebrating Mother’s Day even more than usual. Don’t get me wrong, I love greeting card holidays. Love them! Valentines is my favorite, and the other non-religious ones like Mother’s Day follow closely. I adore days where we set aside time to reflect on certain types of people and say thank you for what they do and who they are. Even in times when I have been sad or at odds with the idea of motherhood, I have still liked Mother’s Day. I was still able reflect on the various types of mothers I’ve had in my life and I am totally a sucker for the sweet preschool Mother’s Day projects my friends and clients post on Facebook or show my in sessions. I mean come on that stuff is pure gold!!

However, this year, I am struck anew by the fact that we don’t listen very well to women and what they need and want. We glorify...

Why can’t I be happy?

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

I frequently have friends, family, and women I see in my private practice say, “I have everything I’ve ever wanted and I still can’t be happy.” They go on to describe that they have the fulfillment of most of the things they ever wanted and yet feel unable to connect to it or feel happy about it. This is actually quite universal. It is common to feel this way after any big thing in our lives – weddings, graduations, new homes, retirements. Often people expect to feel one way about something and then feel many other things on top of that one feeling.

Feelings are complex

One of the double-edged realities of adulthood is we feel multiple things simultaneously. Sometimes this works out to be a gift and sometimes it makes for a lot of confusion. The way we talk about feelings is that they are isolated, individual emotions that come and go as directed and expected. This just isn’t true. We...

Perfectly Flawed Brokenness

a Guest blog by April Lovelace Simmons 

I have a confession to make. I am an anxious person. Some people call it being a worrier or tightly wound. This does not mean that I am a negative person or always barking orders at everyone around me (though I do that sometimes, and to my great horror, I find it invigorating). Having a predisposition to anxiety and being raised by two perfectionists really did not weight the scales in my favor. My anxiety waxed and waned through my twenties, sometimes crescendoing into a tsunami of frenzied behaviors (mostly cleaning and eating). The grand finale came as I entered the thirties and my health, personal, and professional life were such that I had to change or the misery would crush me. With several very specific goals in mind, I began therapy. One of these goals was to learn to cope better so that I would not be a neurotic, controlling horror show of a mother.

So, I sat on my therapist’s overstuffed chair...

Is it common? Is it normal? 

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD 

People ask me all the time if they are normal and if what they do or are going through is normal. I don't often answer that question with a clear yes or no. Well sometimes I do. Is it normal to have anxiety as a parent, yes! Normal and common! A little anxiety is very normal and actually helps you be a better parent. A lot of anxiety is common but not healthy. 

Meriam Webster defines common as occurring or appearing frequently. Webster defines normal as usual or ordinary; not strange; mentally and physically healthy. So here's the deal, maternal mental health disorders are common. Not what we could, by definition, call normal, but unfortunately extremely common.

Baby Blues 

About 80% of women experience the “baby blues,” including sadness, confusion, and crying. This usually resolves within two weeks. This makes it both common and normal. If the symptoms do not resolve within 10-14 days or...

Guest Blogger, Rev. Liliana Barzola

Imagine your heart is a container. It is holding all the pain and bliss you’ve experienced. It has all these magical chambers and different rooms.

As we grow and develop we try to stay in the good feeling parts of our hearts, where the playful and wonderful feelings are stored. When we experience loss we often section that part of our heart off. Like a room that was once a fun place to play, it becomes a dark and dreary part of our heart. We close that part of our heart off. We don’t want to look back or feel that again. We do this all the time and pretty much without noticing that we do it.

When your beautiful baby is earthside and beaming you with pure love and bliss, it’s overwhelming. This child stares into your eyes in a way no human has ever looked at you before. The energy is so pure and divine. You feel such depth. And then something strange happens. That baby love beam hits one of those quarantined off rooms and bursts...