The Goldfish Problem

by Danielle Jenkins, PsyD

I’m constantly talking to my clients about the idea that kids and their needs are like goldfish. Goldfish grow to whatever size container you give them. They can get huge. Same with children and their needy, snack-begging ways. These little people you lovingly made a five-course rainbow colored meal for will drop food in the randomest of places only to beg and borrow snacks of all kinds less than 30 minutes later in convincing narration of starvation.
 
These little ones we give our all to will ask what are we are doing next after you’ve gone ice skating, baked cookies, make holiday cards, decorated eggs, painted ornaments, and watched 7 movies. Don’t even get me started on the snacks. Have I mentioned the snacks? 
 
Kids will take and take and take and keep taking until we tell them no. It's what they are supposed to do. They will have one existential crisis after another until we and they are used up....
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Happy Mother’s Day to Us All

By Danielle Jenkins, PsyD

Mother’s Day is here in the US. With Mother’s Day comes a spectrum of experiences and responses. The idea of Mother’s Day is sweet. A day we celebrate the Mother’s in our lives. The thing is that many women feel disappointed by the unmet expectations, overwhelmed by the ongoing mental load of motherhood, and the burden of planning celebrations for their mothers and mother-in-laws while taking care of their own families. The dirty secret is that a lot of moms aren’t real fans of Mother’s Day. If you are, that’s wonderful. Maybe this blog post will help you see why some people are not fans. If Mother’s Day feels like a chore or a trigger for grief, this article is most certainly for you.

Perhaps you’ve lost your mother. You may be grieving your mother’s death or abandonment. You might struggle to enjoy Mother’s Day because it reminds you of what you lost or maybe never had. Give yourself space...

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