My Pregnancy Loss and Fertility Story

Danielle D Jenkins PsyD
 
🦋
I have debated whether to share my story. Not because I think people should keep their heartaches to themselves but because I know I have clients who read my blog and listen to my podcast. My story is raw. It’s still in progress and everything I have learned in my training about being a good therapist is to only share hardships that have been fully processed. Here’s the thing though, I also strongly believe in reducing the stigma of talking about fertility concerns and pregnancy loss.
 
My story is real, it’s raw, and it might hurt to hear. It might also change the way clients, friends, or even family feel about me. People assume a lot about therapists and I’m sure most of my clients have ideas about me that may or may not be completely true. I caution any of my clients (past and present) to think through whether it will change our work together to learn more about my personal life. It might and that might be difficult. I...
Continue Reading...

Like Riding a Bike

A story of secondary infertility by guest blogger, April Lovelace Simmons

Your baby is growing up… she smells like cheerios and playdough and something else kind of gross. But there are still whiffs of the sweet, innocent baby smell if you hug her close at night. And you miss it. The dimpled knees and the toothless smiles and the teeny tiny clothes. The horrible sleep deprivation, the chapped nipples and the ceaseless demands have receded into the cavernous mommy brain… so, now it’s time for another one. You got this. No problem, right? Just get back on the bike and everything will come back. Start counting days and inspecting cervical fluids. Get a general idea of the correct week and just do lots of hanky-panky and bada-bing, bada-boom, yougotyo’self a bun in the oven.

Ready, set, go!

Except not. Three months pass… it’s not a big deal. Sure, it was disappointing when PMS symptoms were mistaken for early signs of pregnancy. But, we are always...

Continue Reading...

The Heartbreak of Infertility

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

One of the most amazing aspects of my work is getting to walk with women and couples going through fertility treatment. I wish this wasn’t part of my work and that everyone could have children when they want and how they want, but I feel honored that people let me walk through this with them. Part of the work of helping people build healthy families is going through the challenges of infertility with them. The stress of the process is more than many people can handle on their own.  I was reading Women’s Therapy Center, February 2016 Newsletter, focused on fertility and assisted reproduction and was reminded that the stress of infertility is similar to any other life crisis. On top of that, many people struggling with fertility challenges feel like failures. Feeling they have not only struggled to build the family they desire, but then see their relationships and mental health impacted too.

Often, by the time a couple has come into my...

Continue Reading...

How to Talk About Infertility and Get the Support You Need

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

Infertility can be a huge burden. I’ve had friends, family, and clients share how isolating, scary, and overwhelming infertility can be. Some people choose to keep their experience and process to themselves while others are very open about it. Either way, it can be hard to know which path is best for you. MamaThriveVillage  has some tips.

Keep the circle small. Choose wisely. If you know someone is very opinionated about assisted reproduction or know you will have to do a lot of explaining, it may not be best to include them in your process, especially at the beginning or right before or during an important time (picking a donor, embryo transfer, or other procedure). Have a few people who will support you on bad days and respect your need to pull back if you need to. Choose people who will keep your story to themselves. 

You might be surprised by who these people turn out to be. That’s normal. You might find that one parent (or set...

Continue Reading...
Close

Busy mama...

We know you have lots to do. Let us send you help, connect you with resources, and give you encouragement for the hardest parts of motherhood. Well drop into your inbox periodically with tips and support for this wild ride. 

Get support today
Close

Sign up for the mamathrivevillage newsletter

so you won't miss anything