It happened to me too

 

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

There is a club no one wants to be in that is filled with women of all kinds. Until it happens to you, you may not even realize how many people in your life have experienced miscarriage. Once people hear about your situation, they often share, “It happened to me, too.” It’s one of the loneliest large groups around. Miscarriage happens in about one in four recognized pregnancies and about one in five women have experienced this type of loss, yet many women do not talk about it or even share their loss with anyone except their partner and sometimes their provider.

There’s so much mystery, and confusion around miscarriage. I want to be part of reducing the unnecessary stigma around this sensitive issue. So I thought I’d begin by sharing some of the things I am learning in the process of healing from my own loss (and from supporting other women in their losses).

 

Grief comes in waves

You may be fine one minute and...

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Loss

 
By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD
 
People call the holidays the season of giving. In 2020, I am calling the holidays the season of loss. So many of us have been experiencing loss after loss this year, winding up with many of us being unable to have the holiday experiences we wish we could. Traditions that help us get into the spirit cancelled. Finances pinching our gifting or worrying us for what is coming. Seeing others making choices we know to put themselves and others at risk.
 
With loss comes grief. It is okay to grieve. Even if you know people who have things harder than you or who have lost more, it is okay to feel sadness, anger, irritability, apathy, and dread. Grief comes in waves no matter the cause. We have been grieving all throughout this pandemic. We may be experiencing all the stages of grief and that certainly affects ability to enjoy things we usually enjoy. It’s ok. We are all just doing our best.
 
If you have somehow managed to feel fun,...
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