The Goldfish Problem

by Danielle Jenkins, PsyD

I’m constantly talking to my clients about the idea that kids and their needs are like goldfish. Goldfish grow to whatever size container you give them. They can get huge. Same with children and their needy, snack-begging ways. These little people you lovingly made a five-course rainbow colored meal for will drop food in the randomest of places only to beg and borrow snacks of all kinds less than 30 minutes later in convincing narration of starvation.
 
These little ones we give our all to will ask what are we are doing next after you’ve gone ice skating, baked cookies, make holiday cards, decorated eggs, painted ornaments, and watched 7 movies. Don’t even get me started on the snacks. Have I mentioned the snacks? 
 
Kids will take and take and take and keep taking until we tell them no. It's what they are supposed to do. They will have one existential crisis after another until we and they are used up....
Continue Reading...

Vulnerability Hangover, Here I Come!

One of my favorite people in the world is Brene Brown. She has taught me that vulnerability is the path to whole hearted living. I strive to be vulnerable, but to be honest, I am terrible at it. I’ll keep trying but it’s really  hard work. One of the things that keeps me trying to be authentic is that I know that the beautifully curated lives I see on social media are often far from the reality. That’s part of why I am writing this. So often we don’t know what is really going on with someone and what we believe is happening is actually not even close to the reality.

There are many powerful examples of this in my own life. I had a friend from graduate school who rarely posted on social media but I remember seeing this beautiful picture of him with a girlfriend and some happy pictures of them doing fun things around their beautiful home in the Northwest. I assumed based on these photos that my friend was in a happy place, living a happy life. Not too...

Continue Reading...
Close

Busy mama...

We know you have lots to do. Let us send you help, connect you with resources, and give you encouragement for the hardest parts of motherhood. Well drop into your inbox periodically with tips and support for this wild ride. 

Get support today
Close

Sign up for the mamathrivevillage newsletter

so you won't miss anything