By Danielle Jenkins, PsyD            

If you know me or have followed me on social media at all, you’ve definitely heard me quote Mr. Rogers a time or two. My favorite Roger’s quote is “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.'” This quote is one that I live by and has helped me support myself and my therapy clients in times of stress chaos, and trauma. This week as the entire West Coast has looked like something out of an apocalyptic movie, I had another reminder that helpers are everywhere.

This week, my hometown was burning down amidst the unprecedented fire events all up and down the West Coast. Most people who know me now know that I live and work in Washington State and believe that Portland is my hometown. I don’t usually correct them because hardly anyone outside of Oregon has ever heard of Molalla,...

by Danielle D. Jenkins, PsyD

School is....starting?

So many parents have been struggling with what to do about schooling within the framework of a global pandemic. Many families have to have the only parent or both parents working to make it financially. Even in families where there is a parent staying home, what to do about school has not been an easy decision. As with many parenting decisions, there are some people out there who seem so confident that their decision is the best one (for them and everyone else). And it can feel like there’s someone who is going to judge you for whichever decision you make. The reality is that very few people have a choice that feels good right now.

This means many of us are in a situation of making lemonade, which can be hard work. Doing things you don’t want to do is not fun. It takes creativity, which for many parents is in short supply since March. We have already used it up with the solutions we’ve come up with for...

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

Moms are burned out. That was true before the pandemic. It’s even more true now. Sure, there are some families who are benefitting from less running around but for the most part women are talking about being maxed out or at their breaking points. It makes sense. Most of us are running in a deficit of self-care in normal times. Now it’s even worse.

So what’s a mom to do? Self-care, rest, and prioritizing health is the solution to burnout. So how do you do this when the gyms, salons, and spas are closed and you have to mask up to go to the happiest place on earth (Target obviously!)? Of course we willingly cut back on possible exposures and deny ourselves further. So how do we not only survive but maybe even thrive.

With a little trick I like to call self-care stacking. Let’s say you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and are ready to fight the world from the first moment. This is where the stacking comes in. If you are having a...

By Guest Blogger Cristyn Jenkins

Babywearing is the act of carrying an infant using a simple piece of cloth or a more structured baby carrier. It isn’t a modern fad, humans have carried their young for millenia and it has played a huge role in the survival and evolution of our species.

When we are pregnant, we are bombarded with advertising campaigns. We see images and videos of new babies sleeping soundly in their mother's arms, smiling, cooing, and generally being downright adorable. The problem is, this is not what motherhood is like. We are sold a false reality and when the chaos hits we are shocked. 

People don’t often tell you that your baby will need to feed at least every 2 hours. Or that your that your baby will want to be held 24/7. And so, when they want to be held all the time, we think our babies are broken. 

It leaves many of us wondering why did no one tell me that this is normal infant behavior? Why are the big dogs on the television not...

By Danielle D. Jenkins, PsyD

It’s Father’s Day in America. I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating the dad’s and adoptive fathers in your life. I am highlighting another important day for fathers to celebrate Father’s Day.

Tomorrow, June 22, is International Fathers Mental Health Day. Depending who you ask, between 10 and 25 percent of men experience postpartum depression. Fathers can also experience anxiety and other exacerbation of mental health concerns with the birth of a child. Dads are often overlooked when we discuss perinatal mental health and this is a problem. There is already strong stigma around men experiencing and seeking treatment for mental health concerns. Yet, men’s postpartum depression is often completely overlooked.

Signs a dad may be experiencing paternal postpartum depression (PPPD) include:

• Anger and irritability.
• Feeling helplessness or hopelessness. 
• Loss of interest in daily activities, especially ones you usually...

Guest Blog by April Lovelace Simmons 

So, y’all, being a parent is hard. Being a mom is a tough job. There are so many days that the forest crowds out the trees and the overwhelm sets in and I forget. I forget the sweetness and the privilege. I forget the honor and the trust. While struggling through sleep deprivation, piles of laundry, and endless to-do lists, it’s so easy to lose sight of why it’s all worth it. Then, in the middle of the night, a sweet little warm body, smelling of soap and sleepiness comes to my bed with trusting, outstretched arms. A little voice murmurs, “Mommy, I LIKE you.” And I remember.

I am a working mom. After spending two years at home with my sweet girl, I re-entered the work force “part-time” when my husband and I opened a business. The quotation marks are very deliberate; as anyone with a brand new business knows, there is really no such thing as part time. I missed my little one every moment that she was...

By Danielle Jenkins, PsyD

Mother’s Day is here in the US. With Mother’s Day comes a spectrum of experiences and responses. The idea of Mother’s Day is sweet. A day we celebrate the Mother’s in our lives. The thing is that many women feel disappointed by the unmet expectations, overwhelmed by the ongoing mental load of motherhood, and the burden of planning celebrations for their mothers and mother-in-laws while taking care of their own families. The dirty secret is that a lot of moms aren’t real fans of Mother’s Day. If you are, that’s wonderful. Maybe this blog post will help you see why some people are not fans. If Mother’s Day feels like a chore or a trigger for grief, this article is most certainly for you.

Perhaps you’ve lost your mother. You may be grieving your mother’s death or abandonment. You might struggle to enjoy Mother’s Day because it reminds you of what you lost or maybe never had. Give yourself space...

A story of secondary infertility by guest blogger, April Lovelace Simmons

Your baby is growing up… she smells like cheerios and playdough and something else kind of gross. But there are still whiffs of the sweet, innocent baby smell if you hug her close at night. And you miss it. The dimpled knees and the toothless smiles and the teeny tiny clothes. The horrible sleep deprivation, the chapped nipples and the ceaseless demands have receded into the cavernous mommy brain… so, now it’s time for another one. You got this. No problem, right? Just get back on the bike and everything will come back. Start counting days and inspecting cervical fluids. Get a general idea of the correct week and just do lots of hanky-panky and bada-bing, bada-boom, yougotyo’self a bun in the oven.

Ready, set, go!

Except not. Three months pass… it’s not a big deal. Sure, it was disappointing when PMS symptoms were mistaken for early signs of pregnancy. But, we are always...

By Danielle D Jenkins, PsyD

One of the most amazing aspects of my work is getting to walk with women and couples going through fertility treatment. I wish this wasn’t part of my work and that everyone could have children when they want and how they want, but I feel honored that people let me walk through this with them. Part of the work of helping people build healthy families is going through the challenges of infertility with them. The stress of the process is more than many people can handle on their own.  I was reading Women’s Therapy Center, February 2016 Newsletter, focused on fertility and assisted reproduction and was reminded that the stress of infertility is similar to any other life crisis. On top of that, many people struggling with fertility challenges feel like failures. Feeling they have not only struggled to build the family they desire, but then see their relationships and mental health impacted too.

Often, by the time a couple has come into my...